February 9, 2010

• IDGAF

  My sixth grade teacher was named Alin. He was maybe 39, and bald. He biked to work, had a lazy eye, and wore plain tshirts with suspenders and track pants. Unlike the other grade six instructor (who flirted with Natalie, our student teacher), Alin mostly kept to himself. He wasn't unkind, but I don't remember ever having seen him smile.

  None of these traits bothered me though; I knew he was different, but I never felt the need to judge. I was forced to, however, when I overheard Emma, one of the popular girls, say that she didn't like Alin.

  I didn't understand what she meant at first. How could she not like Alin? What was there to like, or to not like? He was the teacher, we were the students; there was nothing we needed to consider beyond that. I explained the significance of ga jie or "Big Sister" in an older post, and the Asian concept of Teacher isn't much different. Lao si (teacher), like ga jie, is someone whom you admire simply because that's the role in which they've been introduced to you. You learn from your lao si, you obey and are pleasant to them. I was so guai as a child that I respected my elders completely, blindly. It never occured to me that you didn't have to like your teachers.

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  It's not uncommon to see kids wandering around by themselves in EB Games. A lot of the times, parents will leave them alone in the store with only the PS3 demo console for a babysitter.

  I was telling a small boy the other day that he couldn't continue playing because his parents weren't in the store. Most kids will then become rude and/or angry, but this child was very little, and he opened his eyes wide and insisted that he wasn't breaking any rules, that his dad was just outside. I had to confront him a second time before he ran out to fetch his father, but during none of this time did he direct any animosity towards me.
  

  Which leads me to conclude that clashes don't happen because of different personalities or whatever. Evil isn't inherent like that. People have to be taught how to hate one another. And that's how we first lose our innocence.

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  JC said once that one of the rewards of being a salesperson is getting revenge on bad customers by getting them to buy expensive crap they don't need. This works best with electronics, since most people on the other side of the counter don't understand the functions of the machinary that they buy.

  I had my first really bad retail experience the other day. I always expected it'd come from a little Asian mom, but actually it was an old, angry white guy (but not like frail, old white guy. He was tall and broad). He was yelling quite loudly at me in the store: red face and bulging eyes and everything. It should have been quite threatening, but all I felt was annoyance, like one would for a small fly. I didn't freak out or get angry, and of course I didn't. After having been yelled at by an Asian mom, to think this guy could bother me was just laughable. 

  It used to hurt to think that my parents could hate me so much, but after awhile you stop caring about what they think. I've had so much practice staying silent and still and shutting things out while having insults hurled my way. You become desensitized in order to take the abuse.

  And you have to be a little desensitized to work where I do. I wouldn't get half as many warranty sales if I wasn't able to blatantly lie to people's faces. I wanted to work at EB because I wanted to talk to and meet people, but it turns out we treat them more like walking wallets (which I think is a legitimate judgement if you can afford video games). For awhile I was seriously conflicted with this realization, but I got over it quickly becuase I had to suck it up and do my job. I've sold more warranties than ever.

  My soul is sold, but I need monies =( I'm learning a lot and my managers are wonderful, but I hope to never work in the private industry again.

  So Asian kids take heart! All the abuse from your parents is making you into good little salesmen.

   

   

  Digi doesn't have a stellar warranty sales rate - and I'm glad. It's good to know that someone could still remain honest after working there so long.

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  Sorry for the emo post =( I've actually been having a great week, but someone I care about was disrespectful towards me today.

  I wonder how this person who is rude to their parents in front of guests, who tells me to my face that I'm ugly, who talks about his crush in terms of 'hotness' instead of personality, who openly makes dirty jokes on the skytrain (in front of a mother with a stroller, no less!) can hope to ever keep a girlfriend. It's funny how people think they're nice guys when they're really not. It makes me especially grateful to be with Digi.

  I'm not desensitized enough towards them to not be bothered by it. You shouldn't dwell on negatives, but you can either feel sorry for yourself or stop caring for the other person, and I don't want to give up on people. I try so hard to like everyone, and I can't understand when they refuse to do the same back.

  But some things you can't shut out. I'm going to go sleep it off.

  • 11:37 pm
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