September 26, 2012
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Second go
I felt the last Guest Post was relevant because I wanted to show how far my little brother has come along. I’m fiercely proud of Trumon – it was I that raised him, after all (our parents are often terrible people and they were too busy to do the job anyway). I’m the reason why he has critical thinking and writing abilities that are far beyond those of his age group, the reason why he has respect for the poor and marginalized despite having been raised in a family of cutthroat, let-them-eat-cake capitalists.
It’s terribly endearing when my little burgeoning feminist says things like, “How come it’s okay to say, ‘Hey guys,’ to a group of women but it’s not okay to say, ‘Hey ladies,’ to a group of guys? I say ‘Hey guys,’ a lot and I can’t even help it.”
We spend less time together now because we’re both busy, and that’s fine. But it worries me that, as he becomes a teenager, he’s also acting like one too. He’s starting to become a bit of a douchebag, and as tempted as I am to say that he picked it up from school, I won’t insult his intelligence. It is, unfortunately, perfectly possible to become a douchebag through your own choosing.
Because it really gets to me when he rolls his eyes and sighs loudly when he’s asked to help with chores, or when he puts up a self-righteous defense of his need to play video games until midnight on school days — and how dare the sister get all bitchy and criticize him for it! Parenting hurts. It makes you vulnerable. And we’re at the age where I’d rather we be friends instead of child and disciplinarian.
[Cosmo] says I shouldn’t take Trumon’s disrespectful behaviour as a personal failure, but it’s hard not to. I could have done better. Trumon is too much like myself. I taught him to be proud but I forgot kindness and empathy.
There isn’t much more parenting that he’ll accept at this age, unless he specifically asks for it. And anyway I’m too busy and too tired to have to deal with abuse from a teenager. I think the best I can do now is to let go, and hope that he’ll learn better.
