January 31, 2012

• “It’s not toxic, it’s Teflon!”

  I took my boyfriend [henceforth "Cosmo"] to the small organic corner of the cereal aisle today because he doesn’t normally buy organic food, saying that it costs too much.

  It’s true that my family has more money than his, but my mom always bought expensive healthy food for us even when we weren’t financially well off. I’m living on my own now and my paycheck isn’t huge either, but I want Cosmo to be healthy and I want him to understand that health is worth investing in. 

  Tonight we cooked dinner and cleaned up the kitchen afterwards together. I was at the sink with the dishes, marveling at how easy the rice cooker bowl was to wash. “It doesn’t even need soap! All the rice just slides right off!”

  My boyfriend suddenly looked very guilty. “That’s because it’s nonstick.”

  “Nonstick?”

  “…yes.”

  “Nonstick as in Teflon?” 

  He looked even more guilty. “Yes…But they’re so easy to wash!”

  We’ve had this conversation before. He and his mom don’t use Teflon frying pans because his mom owns small cockatiel birds, and small birds die instantly when they inhale the fumes emitted from using Teflon cookware.

  After Cosmo moved out of his mom’s house, he bought a $2 Teflon frying pan from IKEA because it’s so wonderful to finally be able to buy cheap cookware! But as soon as I discovered the pan I got him to put it away after reminding him about the grave consequences of Teflon. He knows about Teflon already of course, but he still looked disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to use his new frying pan. 

  Cosmo is slightly overweight and he doesn’t exercise very much. I’ve been working hard since we started dating to get him to eat healthier. I got him to stop eating candy and fast food. I taught him how to cut down on oil, salt and sauces while cooking. I buy him organic food and I take him to vegan restaurants so that he would eat healthier without having to stretch his wallet.

  He doesn’t like it when I criticize his normalized food habits, and he’s rather emotionally fragile (I only ever seem to date those kinds) so I have to be very cautious when I point out his food flaws. I work hard to take care of him – it’s not fun having to criticize someone that you’d rather just hang out and enjoy your time with. In many cases I’ve even coaxed him into liking healthy food, but there’s still a long way to go.

  Now I feel betrayed because he’s been feeding me Teflon rice – toxic rice - all this time without my knowing every time we eat at his apartment. He knows that this is important to me. 

  It’s not that Cosmo doesn’t love me and that he doesn’t wish to take care of me, but I don’t think he really understands what that means. He and I have experienced love and care in different ways. All my life I remember mom cooking nearly all our family meals from scratch – even while working full time and receiving zero help from dad in terms of household chores – because she cared about our health and she wanted us to eat only the very best.

  Even today she’ll spend an hour washing leafy greens with her hands in freezing cold water (my family honestly eats that much. Remember: I used to live with Trumon) because she wants us to eat only the freshest vegetables. Mom took out a loan to buy a set of surgical stainless steel cookware because she wanted her family to only the most pristine foods. Trumon and I have been taught actively over the years to value our health and therefore our bodies and the food we put into it.

  So now I understand why my mom never bought a rice cooker. It worries me how easily Cosmo justified his use of Teflon: “It’s just so easy to clean!” And just like that, he put out of his mind all notions of health and safety completely for the sake of convenience.

  Cosmo isn’t stupid – he has a Masters and he knows about the dangers of Teflon. He isn’t unkind – he enjoys making dinner for me while I relax and read. He takes care of me without complaint when I’m sick. But he’s never been taught and so he doesn’t seem to be able to conceptualize this particular kind of caring, where you make only the most pure and nurturing foods for the ones you love.

  How many millions of people think the same way? How many people injest these kinds of toxins because it’s easier to eat fast food, it’s more convenient to cook with Teflon, it’s cheaper to buy plastic kitchenware that contains BPA? How many people even know about all these dangers, but brush it off carelessly because “just a little bit won’t hurt you”? What is a safe amount of toxin to injest? Why aren’t we instead striving towards food and health excellence?

  And if that’s the way we treat our own bodies and the health of our loved ones, then just imagine how much damage we do in the same careless way to the planet and the environment. It’s frightening.

  • 11:36 pm
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