December 21, 2011
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watching
So that last post was an accident and has now been made private – oops! awk awk awk ><
Backstory: Kevin and I met in Toronto last April and we dated for a month before I had to return to Vancouver. He still had to stay another 3 months in Toronto to finish his masters degree. In addition to our skype chats, he promised to write to me every night until he moved back to the west coast. I wrote back to him on a separate xanga account that only the two of us share.
He’s in the Vancouver area now but he still lives six cities away so we’ve continued writing to each other every night that we’re apart (that’s probably why I don’t post here as often anymore. I’m sorry I’m such a ditcher
). I was signed in to kaiori yesterday when I thought I was on the other account, hence accidental PDA! —————————
I told mom that Kevin and I wanted to move in together (it would make logistical sense because we both currently live 1.5 hours away from our workplaces, and it costs a great deal more to rent separately). Mom of course said NO. She then suddenly started visiting the Buddhist temple a lot. I get the creepy feeling that she’s praying for my virginity. Here’s why I think that:
- Every time I get a new boyfriend my mom pulls me aside for The Talk. She doesn’t say anything at all about safe sex, but my mom will take great pains to warn me against excessive hand-holding. In Cantonese, that translates to “holding little hands”. (Accusation: “You’ve been holding little hands again haven’t you!?”)
Kevin suggests that we should pull my parents aside one day and tell them, “You know Mr. and Mrs. Tse, sometimes when two people really like each other they…”
- My aunt gave me a present today from Hollister. She was handing me the bag when my mom grabbed her arm and said “No! There are naked people making out on the bag! DON’T GIVE IT TO HER.”
My aunt snorted (politely), pushed past my mom to give me the bag, and inside I found a new sweater
Mom also told Trumon privately that he had to help stop me from moving out. What will happen to her reputation? What if they break up? What if she gets a new boyfriend and he finds out that she once lived together with her ex?
I knew already that my parents were conservative but I was still caught off-guard. Who the hell thinks like this anymore? I remember reading in the news about virginity certificates for women in India (which must be presented to the groom’s family before they will approve of the marriage) and I remember thinking that this was completely barbaric and that nothing like that could ever happen in Canada. I forget that my Canada is vastly different from the one that my immigrant parents live in.
I don’t want my every action to have to go through an approval process. I don’t want my body to belong to my parents.
I’m also 21 and I think it’d be nice if I could hold hands with boys now ==
- Every time I get a new boyfriend my mom pulls me aside for The Talk. She doesn’t say anything at all about safe sex, but my mom will take great pains to warn me against excessive hand-holding. In Cantonese, that translates to “holding little hands”. (Accusation: “You’ve been holding little hands again haven’t you!?”)
Comments (2)
there are no accidents; your subconscious just wanted to give dear ol’ uncle phil an opportunity to say “i told you so.” …to bring a little light into the old man’s dusty, dimly lit life. AND IT WORKED, DORQUE.
lol at your parents. you just stay true to yourself, alex. you’re a real good one.
It’s pretty much the nature of Chinese moms to just disagree with everything you do. Mine is the same, until I do things. If you take it in the perspective of parents, then our lives are nothing but a series of rebellions and indiscretions. But if you take it from your own perspective, it turns out that your life is just your life, and that’s all there is to it I guess.
I find that parents get a bit more mellow when they realize not that we can make our own decisions, but that we can take responsibility for our own messes. Most of the time they’re just worried, but they forget that the point of worrying for us in the end comes down to our best interests– which they sometimes forget, because they’re so efficient at worrying.